Comb and the Chinese girl

“UTv World movies” channel is very entertaining I tell you. My dad and I watch it for fun but sometimes we do get to watch some good German, Spanish and French films.
But what about Chinese/Mandarin movies? As an ardent fan of Chinese films I am disappointed that they don’t feature movies of Bruce Lee. For that matter they don’t air any movie which has fights (I mean Chinese martial arts). Or maybe I have missed them. Oh no.. have I missed them?? damn! Ok Ok never mind.. But the Chinese movies they feature have oriental music and depressing people who just talk about tea, pregnancy and marriage (in that order). One such movie that I watched was very weird.. I don’t remember the name of the movie. At the end of the movie I was as confused as I was when it had begun. We spent two hours watching it with no idea of what was happening but it was nevertheless entertaining, thanks to my Grandma who (disappointed that she couldn’t watch a Kannada movie) gave her most valuable comments on each and every scene.
The movie, with only background music (oriental, of course), had no dialogues.. The dialogues were written (whenever uttered I mean, which was very rare) and the Mandarin script was fascinating to view.
Review below:

The leading lady sits on a small bench in a colorful oriental dress. She plays a weird instrument (which, in our opinion, was out of tune. Totally out of tune). She does nothing but sing and smile at random people who come home; we have no idea what work she does. Our leading man comes and goes as he pleases and wears a brooding look throughout the movie. The heroine combs his hair (!), serves him tea, sings with her instrument, closes mirrors with silk cloth (??) and talks about some girl called Aeh Mei.

My Grandma, though, liked the hair combing scene a lot.
Few of her comments follow-
(1) Aiyo yeshTu muddaagi jaDe baachiskoLtaane noDu (Oh! Look how sweetly he is getting his hair combed)
(2) Appahh! Apaswardalli haaDtidaaLe (Oh Lord! She is singing out of tune)
(3) Tea na adu? Bari neer thara kaaNatte!! Visha haaktaaLo eno? (Is that Tea? But it looks like water to me. Maybe she’ll mix poison in it?) My grandma loves such scenes.. Poisoning, kidnapping, killing, chase sequences etc are the main ingredients of a good movie.
(4) NoDtiru avLanna madve maaDkoLde hogbiDtaane (keep watching, he’ll leave her without marrying). Grandma’s sole aim while watching a movie is to see if the protagonists get married. So when the guy leaves her and goes, that means he is “keTTavnu” (bad guy- without any morals).
(5) Allaaaa.. kannaDi na yaake baTTe li mucHbeku? (why does a mirror need to be covered with a cloth?) Valid question I say..

Coming back to the film, after 90 minutes, our leading lady (tired, I am sure, of combing his hair and serving tea) pops the question about his plans for the future.. She is blushing and looking at him in “Eno ondtHara” manner.. So we figure out that she is asking something that’s dreaded by any man who enjoys drinking tea and getting his hair combed – about commitment/marriage. But he simply looks at his tea. Goes on sipping it. She cries. Poor thing. And oh! Yes, I forgot to mention, she always carries a silk handkerchief. She carries it around as though it’s some life saving device. Or maybe it was. Who knows, well who cares! Our man writes long letters to her after he leaves her. Something about reaching Shanghai and shedding tears after visiting some building and what not. Very vague but she understands it. So she sings (of course with the weird instrument).
The movie ends after the song.

Two hours of Chinese dose without kung fu :(