Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Glowing insults

I hopped over to Health & Glow on Sunday. Yes, I do that sometimes. It’s good to go there once in a while to get insulted. The salesgirls in H&G are taught to be offensive. Like, really offensive. Me thinks they have a section in their training programme that’s called “how to be an efficient rude salesgirl”.

So, I was scanning some random shelf, when a tiny girl came from nowhere and asked politely, in a nasal tone -“can I help you madam?” to which I replied my standard eff off “No. Thank you”. But as expected she was right there fearing I might nick things and run. I then had a moment of flashback about an incident which had taken place few months ago in the very same outlet; here goes my flashback:

Salesgirl: “Madam, you can try this madam. It improves dryer”.

A flabbergasted me thought “oh poor H&G! It has started repairing hair dryers?”

But turned out she meant “dry hair” and thrust a shampoo under my nose.

Salesgirl: Your hair is very dry madam. this is good madam..

“Are you jealous?” I wanted to ask her, instead went home and sulked. I vowed not to get insulted again.

But I never learn, do I? So here I was, once again, giving H&G more business. So the nasal voiced salesgirl went on and on about everything I picked from shelf. “Madam (nasal tone) this is verrrry nice product madam. We have 0.08% off madam”.

I was done buying things and was about to leave when she tried one last time:

Salesgirl: Madam those circles around your eyes madam.. we have this special dark circle remover cream madam.

That did it! I tuned into a monster and ate her alive (I mean, I mentally pictured this act).

I merely glared at her and walked away. I CAN snub (it’s tough, however). I grinned while walking towards the billing counter as my eyes caught a bar of chocolate and thought “you little *beep* do you have any idea how hard I work to get these circles around my eyes? Do you work till 3 in the night? and wake up at 7 in the morning? Do you? Eh eh eh?”

I bought a couple of Bournville chocolate bars thinking, “I know I have earned it”.