Thursday, October 7, 2010

Let me explain...

So, THIS is a blog. THIS is how people type. THIS is how people delete the opening sentence and type again. So this is .. err what was I saying? OK have patience. Time please. Hmmm ... err …. Oh yeah, right, blogging. So after my epic 56th post, I lost my memory. (Anxious readers can relax. I cured myself. I hit my head against an ancient tree next to my house and tadah! here I am, this is me. True story). This is a valid reason for not having blogged, no? Yes yes of course it is. You folks can snort. It’s tough, coming up with reasons and all. People need professional qualification to list valid reasons. But not many people have it, now, do they? *evil laughter*. So all you bloggers out there who find it difficult to come up with reasons, don’t fret, coz The Great (non) blogger Shruthi is here to the rescue.*drum rolls* Presenting *trumpets* Top 5 Deadly reasons for not updating your blog *drum rolls*. The mundane- too much work, need to feed fish, facebook-ing, tweeting, Ikebana classes are passé. Without further ado, here goes the list:

Reason #1: Amnesia. Also known as “Main kaun hoon? main kahan hoon? syndrome”- a syndrome, due to which a blogger forgets everything- right from computers, internet, log in id’s to bluetooth, android, google and thus blogging.

Reason #2: Dog ate my blogpost. This is not my kinda reason, but there are dogs that gobble blogposts. Let me explain, blogger Pulakesi overhears his colleagues gossiping next to the coffee vending machine. Excitement! Harman Baweja! Himesh Reshamiyya! Shashi Tharoor (but of course his life is bollywood-ishly entertaining)! Pulakesi notes it down on a tissue paper. He comes back home. Gunda, his pet dog, finds a tissue paper lying next to Pulakesi’s blackberry. Pulakesi hates Gunda’s drool on his Blackberry. And for poor Gunda it’s a moment of ethical dilemma. Blackberry or tissue paper. tissue paper or blackberry. Gunda decides to keep the flag of his clan high, and eats the blogpost.

Reason #3: Blog Rehab. So says a blogger- “oh it’s a long story. My shrink thought I was addicted to blogging” *gasp* “hard to believe isn’t it? And he said I needed a break from blogging. *double gasp* I had to get my pocket knife out. Well the scene after that got pretty ugly and I was put in a blog rehab. Now you know why I went missing” *aww*

Reason #4: Zandu balm. Blogger comes home after a very tiring day at work. Switches on the idiot box to catch Priyanka Chopra (PC) in hot-pants (only if it’s a male blogger. A female blogger on the other hand might watch it to LOL. Everything about Khatron ke khiladi is hilarious- the way PC sways while anchoring (she THINKS its cool), PC’s perfectly manicured nails, milind soman's beard, tattoed anchor guy, PC looking terrified of snakes/roaches/spiders/ropes). Sorry I digress. So blogger switches on TV and lands on “le zandu balm hui darling tere liye.. Cinema hall hui, darling tere liye” whaaa? Who writes such stuff? Blogger is excited. He *thud*... falls unconscious. 5 weeks. no blogging.

Reason #5: Miscellaneous- Traffic jam, bank holiday, Lehman collapse, Bangalore rains, dinosaurs and of course CWG.