Thursday, October 7, 2010

Let me explain...

So, THIS is a blog. THIS is how people type. THIS is how people delete the opening sentence and type again. So this is .. err what was I saying? OK have patience. Time please. Hmmm ... err …. Oh yeah, right, blogging. So after my epic 56th post, I lost my memory. (Anxious readers can relax. I cured myself. I hit my head against an ancient tree next to my house and tadah! here I am, this is me. True story). This is a valid reason for not having blogged, no? Yes yes of course it is. You folks can snort. It’s tough, coming up with reasons and all. People need professional qualification to list valid reasons. But not many people have it, now, do they? *evil laughter*. So all you bloggers out there who find it difficult to come up with reasons, don’t fret, coz The Great (non) blogger Shruthi is here to the rescue.*drum rolls* Presenting *trumpets* Top 5 Deadly reasons for not updating your blog *drum rolls*. The mundane- too much work, need to feed fish, facebook-ing, tweeting, Ikebana classes are passé. Without further ado, here goes the list:

Reason #1: Amnesia. Also known as “Main kaun hoon? main kahan hoon? syndrome”- a syndrome, due to which a blogger forgets everything- right from computers, internet, log in id’s to bluetooth, android, google and thus blogging.

Reason #2: Dog ate my blogpost. This is not my kinda reason, but there are dogs that gobble blogposts. Let me explain, blogger Pulakesi overhears his colleagues gossiping next to the coffee vending machine. Excitement! Harman Baweja! Himesh Reshamiyya! Shashi Tharoor (but of course his life is bollywood-ishly entertaining)! Pulakesi notes it down on a tissue paper. He comes back home. Gunda, his pet dog, finds a tissue paper lying next to Pulakesi’s blackberry. Pulakesi hates Gunda’s drool on his Blackberry. And for poor Gunda it’s a moment of ethical dilemma. Blackberry or tissue paper. tissue paper or blackberry. Gunda decides to keep the flag of his clan high, and eats the blogpost.

Reason #3: Blog Rehab. So says a blogger- “oh it’s a long story. My shrink thought I was addicted to blogging” *gasp* “hard to believe isn’t it? And he said I needed a break from blogging. *double gasp* I had to get my pocket knife out. Well the scene after that got pretty ugly and I was put in a blog rehab. Now you know why I went missing” *aww*

Reason #4: Zandu balm. Blogger comes home after a very tiring day at work. Switches on the idiot box to catch Priyanka Chopra (PC) in hot-pants (only if it’s a male blogger. A female blogger on the other hand might watch it to LOL. Everything about Khatron ke khiladi is hilarious- the way PC sways while anchoring (she THINKS its cool), PC’s perfectly manicured nails, milind soman's beard, tattoed anchor guy, PC looking terrified of snakes/roaches/spiders/ropes). Sorry I digress. So blogger switches on TV and lands on “le zandu balm hui darling tere liye.. Cinema hall hui, darling tere liye” whaaa? Who writes such stuff? Blogger is excited. He *thud*... falls unconscious. 5 weeks. no blogging.

Reason #5: Miscellaneous- Traffic jam, bank holiday, Lehman collapse, Bangalore rains, dinosaurs and of course CWG.


16 plate meals:

SG said...

Very interesting reasons. I have some other reasons also to complement yours.

1. I was busy reading your blogs.

2. I attended bloggers anonymous (just like alcoholics anonymous).

3. I was tired of waiting for my photos to upload.

Swaram said...

Wah wah! Btw, what is that zandu balm song :P :P
I dnt watch PC in that one. is she really so entertaining ;) ;)

Oh, welcome back :D

Stranger said...

lol...I laughed a lot. Good imagination. I think you will never be short of excuses if ever late at office..

Destiny's child... said...

I am just glad that you are back! I believe, I believe! ;)

Shruthi said...

@SG, hahahaha thanks for adding to the list, The first reason is the best I feel :D

@Swar, Thankuuu.. oh you havent heard zandu balm song? tch tch tch. i shall mail the link my friend. its a cult song ma, not to be missed :p

Shruthi said...

@Stranger, heehee thank you. But somehow I can never come up with good reasons when I reach office late. its always - 'i woke up late' :(
btw welcome to my space :)

@DC, :D thank you my friend. I'm glad that you are glad I say!

The Holy Lama said...

Now I understand why trees are essential for human survival:D

Bikramjit said...

I knew it , I knew it when in old movies the MELA-Borthers LOST- One loosing memory they ahd this idea ki they shud have the same accident and hit at same spot to get it back

YEsssssss hence the treees :)

cant stop laughing all thanks to you ....

Bikram's

lostworld said...

How could you forget Ayodhya verdict?! Anyway, explanations not accepted. Next post please :)

ani_aset said...

welcome back !

Shruthi said...

@Lama, hahaha yeah what profundity no? btw let me know when I can visit Kochi to gorge on stew and appam :D

@Bikram, thanks :) and lol@ your inference :D on a different note, I miss those kinda movies. they were so entertaining, getting lost in mela and 20 years later finding each other, all because of one song. classic!

Shruthi said...

@Lostie, aww-no I forgot :p and yeses will start working on my next post :D btw where have you disappeared I say?

@Aniruddha, hey thanks :) long time. how are you?

kanagu said...

he he he... :)

so after lot of struggles you r back.. welcome back Shruthi :)

Shruthi said...

@Kanagu, heehee thanks! how are you?

Swaram said...

Why did we even welcome u :P
U r gone again ;)
Ellamma epic post ahem :P :P

vimmuuu said...

Im tired of saying welcome back to you. for a change, lemme say, Im back ! :D :D